Come at me with vaccine-pro resources providing answers to the questions that keep me from getting the vaccine

Just a few statements before I start this post, so that you know where I am coming from:

• I am pro-vaccines. All of my family has received their routine vaccinations.
• I am pro-science (my first degree is bachelor of science) and I am pro-education (my second degree is bachelor of education).
• I believe Covid is real and that it can be very serious and please know that I can look up the current numbers just as easily as you can.
• I have spent just as much (if not more) time and energy into finding information in favour of the sars cov 2 vaccine as I have into the information that challenges it.
• If there is anyone that would love to feel comfortable in getting this vaccine it is me! I want to go home for a visit and have my family meet our kids! I am incredibly home sick and extremely sad that my family has had to miss the first two years of our oldest daughter's life and the first 5 months of our second.
• Any denigrating or public-dividing comments will be deleted. 

Here is what I am finding while constantly try to find information to make me feel comfortable in getting the vaccine: I cannot find anything other than blanket statements and numbers! The opposition (let's call it that) has lots of scientists and doctors speaking and asking important questions that they and I would love to have answered. But when I dive into these questions I cannot find any information that eases my mind.

I have a referral to an infectious disease specialist who is specialized in vaccines, but since she (of course) is very busy, it can take up to a month before she can see me. So in the mean time, I figured I would open the floor to those who would love to help me out in finding information to make me feel like I want to get this vaccine.

I feel stuck in a corner... I am wanting to find information so I am allowed to live again, like vaccinated people are, but I am finding that all I can find are blanket statements, scary numbers and people yelling polarized opinions at each other. Someone shared this great (or so I thought it would be) resource: a video that was sent out to the staff of AB health services hosting three specialists to answer some of the questions the vaccine hesitant AHS staff might still have. "Wow am I in luck!" I thought. "This is going to be good! Specialists talking to health care workers, this has to be full of great transparent info!" Nope... once again just blanket statements. "Covid numbers are high" "ICU sees a lot of unvaccinated" "The vaccine is safe". Not the slightest bit of detail! No information what so ever talking about what makes the vaccine safe and definitely not a to a single answer to any questions that vaccine hesitant AHS staff might have. Come on government! Come on health care! Come on people! You are not going to make vaccine hesitant people feel comfortable by making fun of them or showing them the covid numbers. Everyone knows the regulations and the numbers. Just educate! Be transparent! Be open. I for one am absolutely desperate to find good information that is transparent, open and detailed. 

I'll start. Just to make you understand that vaccine hesitant information is not just memes and conspiracy theory bandwagons: here are some of the most interesting (in my opinion) ones I found. I would welcome you to have a look. Especially if you are one of the people that thinks they are very right and even more so if you are one that has joined the let's-divide-the-public-train and is posting memes making fun of "dumb and selfish anti-vaxxers".

1. (1.5 hour) Great non-polarizing documentary "Covid in search of the truth" part 2 and part 1: https://www.blckbx.tv/videos/op-zoek-naar-de-waarheid-deel2 it's a Dutch website and part 2 ("deel 2" at the one at the top of the page) doesn't have English subtitles (yet). Part 1 (deel 1) can be found near the bottom of the page and does have the option of English subtitles (cc button in the video screen)
   
   
2. (10 min) Peer reviewed study - spike protein travels: https://omny.fm/shows/on-point-with-alex-pierson/new-peer-reviewed-study-on-covid-19-vaccines-sugge?fbclid=IwAR2g0nuUrnZr4s_q_HKamDjhHw1aEte49EZ46-8SKFAeF_VbDnzPriKdFU4
   
   
3. (1.25 hour) Vaccine concentrates (covid 19 symposium): https://adarapress.com/2021/06/01/japanese-regulatory-agency-study-vax-spike-protein-concentrates-in-spleen-liver-adrenals-and-ovaries-in-high-concentrations-breast-milk-contaminated/?fbclid=IwAR0jGuIHAYRj6A1sZoEsYk1n1FvdPSY_0noUrzYrTRfYAue0xPw5dXJCe7o
   
   

Documentaries, peer reviewed studies and specialists talking at symposiums - this is what I need but with answers in favour of the vaccine!

Below are my questions, but before you jump to them please read MY RULES about how to answer them:

1. I am looking for specialists providing ANSWERS to my specific questions, not scary stories or the numbers 
2. Only scientific articles, scientists and doctors please 
3. Do NOT tell me what YOU think or believe, I want to read what you found to come to these conclusions, show me what the experts write or say (back up your belief)
4. No social media accounts or screen shots please
5. No blanket statements like "covid is dangerous" "non-vaccinated people are more likely to get seriously ill" "the vaccine is safe" I can find these all over the place - I need details... answers... from specialists.

My questions:

1. How is the vaccine, administered in our shoulder, affecting people’s reproductive system? Causing changes in menstrual cycle. Why is this not something to worry about? Am I wrong in thinking it should do nothing other than create immunity to covid.
   
   
2. With the actual disease giving a very broad immunity and the vaccine only giving the narrow immunity of 1 spike protein: Why do people need a vaccine even if they had covid?
   
   
3. A bio distribution study shows, in contradiction to what they thought when rolling out the vaccine, that the spike protein of the mrna vaccine doesn’t stay put in the shoulder and then goes to the local draining lymph node (like other vaccines do). Instead it shows that the spike protein gets into the blood and accumulates in the spleen, bone marrow, liver, adrenal glands and ovaries. And can cross the blood brain barrier. How is this not scary?
   
   
4. How can I feel safe with such a uniquely short safety profile of a 3 month roll out. Short term profile looks alright (not great, because it’s doing stuff it shouldn’t and has the potential of serious side effects) but for the long term there is absolutely no certainties since the people getting the vaccines right now are the phase 3. 
   
   
5. What has the past 2 years of research taught us on how to treat covid before going into the hospital? Are ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, vitamin D, C and zinc being used? If not, why not and what is being used?
   
   

6. During animal testing for SARS (also a coronavirus) in 2003: after they received the mrna shot for it: when exposed to the real virus later on they had an overreaction to the immune system and all animals died. How do we know this (or something similar... maybe/hopefully less severe than this) will not happen during phase 3 for this mrna vaccine? 

   
   
7. The vaccine is based on the genetic build of the original Oxford sars cov 2. I assume that this will turn into a series of booster shots? Will it be like the annual flu shot we can take?
   
   
8. How are we ok with putting an experimental vaccine into our children? When children have a very small chance of getting very sick from covid, where on the other hand recent studies are already indicating that there can be rare but serious side effects from the vaccine and without having any long term data on what happens.
   
   
9. Why shouldn’t I be worried about the money being made with this? Manufacturers can’t be held responsible and government won’t compensate. So there is a lot of money involved, rolled out at warp speed and no indemnity for manufacturers…. That’s scary in my opinion. And then some say “just trust Science” however science is always paid for and in recent history science also showed us studies that claimed smoking wasn’t harmful, because the industry paid for research to be done to show it was healthy.

A humanitarian note...

People... please remember to be kind and considerate. Know that everyone is trying their best to make it through these crazy unprecedented times. Even if you don't agree with someone's point of view, that does not make it right to make fun of them, get mad at them or speak to them in a denigrating way. Everyone is trying their best in some very difficult times.

In a strange time like this it’s crucial to read up on our situation and while doing so please remember to not just believe anything you read or watch in the media or on the internet. Be critical and always keep questioning.

But more important than wether you’re in camp yay or camp nay: please don’t add to dividing our current society. Let people be, act, and think for themselves.

To the health regulatory agencies, vaccine manufacturers and the governments I’d like to say: I feel that education, transparency and openness are the way. Please remember that forcing and coercing has never ever boded well throughout history. No matter how right you think you are in your belief, it is not ok to force people into your way of thinking or being.

A personal note...

I am having a really rough time with all of this.

• I am extremely homesick and it's been 16 months since the pandemic hindered me from going home with our oldest and at the time only daughter. I haven't been home since 2015 and my family has missed all of the special stages of our children growing up so far (if you have kids or are around kids, you know how much and quick they change).
• I am so shocked and disappointed with this world. Instead of this scary, lonely and life changing/halting pandemic bringing love, transparency, education, understanding and compassion into the world, it's bringing divide, polarization, alienation, fear and even hatred.
• I feel so sad about some people I am directly surrounded by. There are people that I love and respect who are now saying and posting things that are morally so very wrong. It's not even about where they stand on their covid vaccine standpoint, it's at a humanitarian level.